Thursday, May 29, 2014

fresh start

Life is full of adventure! And often one thing leads to another and we start to slack on things that we want to do. Keeping a record of our lives is one of them for me. We moved (after a long year and a half process) and are settled into "normal" life again. It's time to play a little catch up and start fresh!

#nofilter :)

Paxton Michael Weekes

Michael and I welcomed our angel, our everything, into the world at 6:41 a.m. on October 4, 2013.
Baby Weekes was 8 lbs 9 oz and 22 inches long.

A look back...

At my 39 week appointment on Monday I still wasn't progressing and barely dilated. Our hopes of having this baby early had pretty much withered away. As Mike would say, "I'm over it. We're never having a baby." We were so excited to meet him and he just did not seem to want to come! My mom had all of my siblings and I at 37 weeks or earlier. I was told at 35 weeks we'd having a baby sooner than later. Baby boy was always measuring ahead of schedule at my appointments. We thought for sure he would be here early! But all things worthwhile take time :) And he was definitely worth the wait!

I had been keeping somewhat busy and always getting out of the house before week 39. But for some reason on Tuesday everything kind of hit me and my body needed to rest. So... Tuesday and Wednesday were spent doing pretty much nothing at all. I had only experienced a few minor contractions and nothing close enough together to give us hope that "this might be it." But I was experiencing more and more pain in my stomach and my back pain intensified. Mike noticed our sweet babe started to drop in my stomach. During our evening walks, I definitely started to feel him lower and lower and so much pressure down below. But at the same time, he was still kicking away at my ribs! We always knew he would be a big boy (Mike was just shy of 8 lbs and I was a nice plump 9 lbs and 22 inches long) plus my doctor shared the same thoughts - he'd be nice and long and at least 8 lbs. 

After two lazy days, I decided it was time to get some things done on Thursday and be somewhat productive again. I got ready and headed out the door. My sister text me and asked how Paxton was doing. Before I drove away I said he was a little too happy in my belly and not coming yet. Little did I know! Right as I pulled out onto the street I felt a big gush of water. Some people say it can feel like you're going to the bathroom. There was no doubt in my mind that my water had just broken! Water was everywhere. I quickly turned around and ran back to our apartment. I sure was glad I wasn't out and about when that happened! I came in and told Mike. My heart was racing and I was a little in shock. After so many days of saying, "he's coming", he really was coming! After the initial "shock," I quickly calmed down. It was 12:15 and I realized I hadn't eaten anything. I knew once everything started at the hospital I couldn't eat so we stopped at Jamba on the way - I later wished I would have grabbed a sandwich or something a little more substantial! My tummy was rumbling by the end!

Of course the day I went into labor was the busiest day at the hospital! We waited in an overflow room before they officially admitted me. There was no question about whether my water had broken - an hour and a half later and it was still pouring out! It is the weirdest feeling. I finally got moved to a labor & delivery room and was checked to see if I had dilated anymore - nope! At 3 p.m. they started me on pitocin. Let me tell you - that stuff works fast! Because my water had already broken, my nurse warned me my contractions were going to really hurt (not that they don't always!) and to not hesitate to get the epidural. She also offered to give me pain medicine in my IV if I wanted to wait on the epidural. I started getting terrible contractions 30 minutes after they started my induction and they progressively got worse and worse. Mike and his dad gave me a blessing that Paxton and I would be healthy and that everything would go well during labor. It brought such comfort, especially with it being our first baby and having no idea what to expect. By 5 p.m. I was having a 60-90 second contraction every 1-3 minutes. They turned down my dose of pitocin because I was contracting too often. I have never been in so much pain! After you go through labor, your idea of pain is never the same. I broke down at 6 p.m. and got the IV with pain medicine, which helped for all of 10 minutes. The only thing I could muster out of my mouth the whole time was "why would anyone do this without any epidural?!" "HOW can anyone do this without an epidural?!" fair enough to say an epidural was on my mind! Every time my nurse came in she asked me if I wanted it yet and I said I wanted to wait as long as possible until I had dilated more. When she came in at 7:30 p.m. she pretty much told me to get it and that worse case it prolongs my labor an hour - but better to endure that extra hour in comfort. I caved. I will thank that nurse forever for making me feel ok with getting it so soon! I am not a fan of needles. Probably because every time I get my blood drawn, an IV put in, anything, something goes wrong and they have to stab me again (it happened when they drew my blood when I first got there, when they put my IV in, and of course, with my epidural) but at that moment I would have let them stick anything in my back to take the pain away. I didn't feel a thing! After the first try sent shocks and tingles down my right leg, they tried again and all was well! It worked quickly and effectively and labor was so much more comfortable. I could breathe. Props to those out there that can do it without a little extra help - but I am definitely not one of them! I commend you.

My mom made it to the hospital - all the way from California - around 9 p.m. I was so happy she was able to be there. We visited for awhile and my sweet niece Gwen came to bring me band aids to help me get better :) She wanted to put them on my stomach but settled for my hand. She even brought one for Paxton. She was a little confused as to why he wasn't here yet though! She had been eagerly awaiting his arrival, it was the cutest. I wasn't able to sleep at all that night. My blood pressure monitor and the heart rate monitor kept slipping so the alarm would sound every now and then. Nurses would come check to see where I was dilated. And Paxton's heart rate was moving around more than anyone wanted it to, so I was constantly told to move positions to help. At midnight I was still only a 2. We were told it wouldn't be until late morning at the earliest that our boy would be here and that the goal was to have him by noon or we'd have to talk about a possible c-section because my water had been broken for so long. As the night moved on, I started to feel a lot of pressure down low and my contractions again. A short two hours later at 2 a.m. I was elated to hear the nurse tell me I was dilated to a 6! They checked again after two hours and this mamma was ready to go at a 10 at 4 a.m. Unfortunately, right then I spiked a high fever and my body was not feeling good at all. I could tell something was wrong with me. I had an infection. I was put on antibiotics and had to wait an hour for them to run their course. The NICU was alerted to be on call in case something had passed to Paxton. At 6:10 a.m. I was told it was go-time. A short 30 minutes later Paxton Michael Weekes was born. It was the most surreal moment and one that changed our lives forever, in the very BEST way.

I couldn't believe he was finally here. I just stared and stared at him while the doctor and nurses took care of him. Little baby boy had a hard time breathing and because of my infection, he had to go to the NICU. While he was laying on the table, he opened his eyes for the first time and starred at his dad. It was the sweetest moment and one we will both cherish. He knew his daddy :) It was amazing how alert he was. I was able to hold him for a quick minute before he left. I just remember not believing that he was my baby boy. I was a mother! I will never forget that moment when I held him in my arms for the first time and just looked down on my baby. When he initially had a hard time breathing, I just kept thinking to myself, "please cry. please cry." I wanted to hear it. Those few seconds seem like an eternity. It was such a relief once I did. After that though, I felt calm and knew he would be ok. Mike went with our son to the NICU and I just sat with my mom trying to take it all in. It was all a little bit of a blur, and I was definitely a little in shock. With no sleep and just giving birth, I was exhausted. I got some food and was able to walk a little before being moved to a recovery room where I finally got some sleep. When I woke up I got to be reunited with Paxton in the NICU. It was heartbreaking to see IV's in his hands. He was so calm and peaceful though. He was so strong and we were so proud of him! We loved holding him and feeding him over the next couple of days while he was in the NICU. I hated saying bye at night. On Sunday he was finally released. It was so sad to see the other babies in there that had more serious illnesses. It made you realize how precious life is and how much can go wrong. I was grateful Paxton was as healthy as he was.

As Mike and I drove home from the hospital with our sleeping babe in the back, we both knew that this moment was when our life really began. 

Pregnancy and labor are a miraculous thing. I always thought that, but when you go through it you really realize how special it is and what a miracle having a baby is. I had the best experience with both and it definitely didn't scare me away for the future :) While I'm glad to give my body a break and a little "normalcy", I'm looking forward to going through it all again. But for now, I'm soaking in every sweet moment with Paxton! Every day my heart grows a little bigger to make room for how much I love him. It is more than I ever could have imagined. If having Paxton in my life wasn't enough, I get to see Mike be a better dad than I could have ever hoped for.