Sunday, March 10, 2013

baby weekes is on the way

 Most people wait until the end of their first trimester to let the news slip, but my overly-excited husband couldn't hold back and started telling anyone who would listen at five weeks (the same week that we found out). It took me awhile, but I've finally accepted that all (or nearly all) our family and friends know the news and it's ok to talk about it... even if it is a little early.

A look back on those first few weeks....

Because I have irregular periods, it's more common for me to be late than it is to be on time. So... it's a little hard to use that as an indication.  It was the constant urge to throw up that gave it away.

Mike always jokes around with me that I'm pregnant. Whenever I say I don't feel good the first thing out of his mouth is "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" I wanted so bad to be able to say back, "Yes, I actually am" haha :) Anyway, while I was at work I text him and told him I thought I was pregnant [jokingly] because I had been feeling nauseous the past couple of days. His response, "ha ha that would be funny!" Later he text back and insisted that I get a test to take. After ten minutes of back and forth "there's no way" and "I highly doubt it", I reluctantly decided I might as well get one to make him happy.

I got home and took the first of two in the box. I sat in the bathroom and almost started laughing when it came back positive. I called to Mike, "You better bring me the other one!" He was in complete shock. Took the second, positive once again. I started to cry a little, and I'll admit, it wasn't out of excitement, but because I was scared. They were the ones with the + for pregnant and the vertical line was a lot darker than the horizontal one so Mike insisted that we run and ask the pharmacist. The lady immediately congratulated us but I said I needed another test haha I was in denial. Three pregnancy tests later, I was "still" pregnant.

This was all minutes before heading to the temple with Mike's family to take David's endowments out. I made him swear on his life to secrecy (he is always the first to blurt out not-so-public information). I was so happy to be in the temple, although it was hard to focus on anything as my mind was racing a million miles an hour.

When we got home we reflected for a minute about what a great blessing this was despite a lot of fear, on my part at least. It truly is a divine gift to be a mother.  My whole life I had always felt and worried that I'd have a hard time getting pregnant. We never know what the future will hold and what circumstances will arise, so we need to be grateful for each and every little miracle, no matter how unexpected they may be.

The next morning I took test #4 and what do you know, positive yet again. I made a doctor's appointment and told Mike I didn't want to tell anyone until after that because I still hadn't fully grasped that I was pregnant and in all honestly, still didn't really believe it. I kept thinking the tests were just faulty haha Mike couldn't have been more supportive and I'm so grateful for that. My mom called me later that day though and she asked, "are you pregnant?!" so I spilled the beans. She was unbelievably happy and excited. She made me more excited too. I'm so grateful to have her and have no idea what I would do without her. She is going to be the best grandma! [This is her first grandchild!]

I told Mike if he let me buy another box of pregnancy tests we could tell his family the next day, in person. Even though he couldn't help but laugh at me, he said ok. My sister was leaving the next day for the weekend, so we decided to just call the rest of my family that night. Mike sent my sister a picture of a chubby baby and then called her. Her natural reaction was that he was making fun of her and thought he meant that to be her haha Instead, we told her it was going to be her little niece or nephew. She was beyond thrilled, more than I could have imagined. I'm so lucky to have her as my sister and best friend. Next up was my brother Chad, who was actually with David at the time. He put the phone on speaker and we told our brothers they were going to be uncles when they came home from their missions. It's so crazy to think our little baby will be one and a half when they get home!

The next night, after a fifth (yes FIVE) pregnancy test, we finally met up with Mike's family, who always teases me that I need to give Gwen a cousin to play with. So it was only fitting that Gwen walked in and told everyone that she had a secret and was getting a cousin. Stephanie was the first to "get it" and started crying, just like my mom, and jumped up and gave me a hug. Sweet McKenzie, who I know is going to save me through everything, was so excited to have another little kid running around with hers.

I gave both sides strict instructions to not say anything to anyone because I wanted to wait until my doctor appointment to tell the rest of our families. I think a big reason for that was because it didn't entirely feel real to me and it was a little uncomfortable to talk about. It was almost awkward seeing how excited everyone was while all I could think was, "what is everyone so excited about??" oh wait, ya, I'm pregnant. Not that I wasn't excited, I just wanted to keep it close and hold it tight until it sank in. I needed a doctor to tell me I was pregnant and that everything was ok with my little baby.

That was on Friday. By Sunday most of the Weekes side of the family had been told. I walked into church for David's farewell to multiple family members rushing up to me and telling me congratulations. I was overwhelmed. And as sad as I am to admit this, I was disappointed and frustrated. Word spread like wildfire and after church I was getting more and more congratulations. I tried so hard to just smile and say thank you and push aside any negative feelings I had that so many people had been told. It was my private world and I felt like it was being invaded. I know they didn't mean it in a bad way, I just wanted to keep it private for awhile. But there was nothing I could do about it. I channeled every positive thought I had to forgive, realize there was nothing I could do, be grateful for everyone's well-wishes and be happy.

My family was in Provo during the weekend too and my sweet mom already wanted to get stuff for me. She is going to spoil our little baby! She told me she'd come stay with us as long as I wanted. I'm going to take her up on all the help I can get! If she is half as great of a grandma as she is a mom, our little baby is going to be the luckiest!

The week after that I started to warm up to the idea that I was actually pregnant. I'm so happy to be pregnant though and am already scared about my baby's health and just want everything to be perfect!
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I went to the doctor's! It was such a relief to here everything was good. When I was in the waiting room a very pregnant woman got called back and the nurse asked her how she was. Her response: "TEEERRRIIBBLLLEEE!!!" Oh joy :) When the nurse asked me if I was having any morning sickness I said I wasn't and that I was just really tired. She politely smiled, laughed a little, and said first comes being tired, and then comes the sickness. Yikes!

At first my doctor said I was 9 weeks, which is approximately what I thought based on my period. But after feeling my ovaries he said I wasn't that far along and he wanted to do an ultrasound to try to measure. Pretty much a little dot, or as I like to say, my little blueberry, showed up on the screen. It was neat though because you could see the pulsing and changing color which he told me was the heart beat. It was such a relief to know there was one, significantly reducing my chance of a miscarriage. He said the baby looked great and guessed I was around 7 weeks, putting my due date October 7 (or if you're Mike: end of September - he tells everyone that's when I'm due haha).

So, after the appointment I finally realized I actually was pregnant and there was something in my belly. I'm getting more and more excited now and don't feel dumb for being excited about something that doesn't "exist". I'm excited to be a mom and so happy for Mike to be a dad. He is going to be the BEST. He has already changed so much just the last couple weeks that we've found out. It's so funny to me though because he talks about how he's going to be but I know he's going to be the biggest sucker and take such good care of our blueberry. He sure is taking great care of the momma right now!

I get more and more excited each and every day.
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Week 5:

Hello morning sickness. Although am I the only one that didn't know morning sickness does not actually occur in the MORNING? Week 5 was spent enjoying what I like to call, all-day sickness.

Mike had stir-fry and I thought I was going to pass out it made me so sick. I wanted so badly to tell him to eat it outside in the snow.

For those that know me, I drink more than my share of water daily, which leads to lots of bathroom breaks. Add being pregnant on top of that and I think the people I work with are starting to wonder what I do in there all day. Lots of mid-sleep bathroom runs too!

Week 6:

I'm not sure what happened but my morning sickness disappeared!

New symptom though: tiredness. After nine hours of sleep at night, I still struggle to keep my eyes awake at at work.

A couple days I had cramps in my stomach but nothing bad.

Working out has already gotten harder, although I think the main reason for that was my month-off during the holidays that moved into January after a minor surgery sidelined me for a bit. I get out of breath a lot sooner unfortunately. So instead of constant running, I switch off between jogging, walking, and walking at an incline while I watch movies in Gold's cinema room. Even if I'm not running like I wish I was, 60+ minutes of "cardio" is better than nothing!

Week 7:

Not really morning sickness or nauseousness, but a few nights the thought of food was repulsing to me. [Never thought that would happen!]

I sleep and sleep and sleep. I went to bed at 10 the other night and didn't wake up until 10. What's going on?!

I've finally accepted that I'm actually pregnant [went to the doctor's this week!]. And I got to "see" the baby's heart beat! I like to call my baby my little blueberry. Funny enough, I found out that he/she actually was the size of a blueberry this week.

Food craving: Olive Garden salad, but I think it just sounded really good to me :)

Feeling a little extra emotional - I cried reading my birthday cards.

Week 8:

Mike teases me that I'm a grandma and old lady because once 10/11 rolls around, I'm done for the night and can only think of my bed. I'm still working on convincing him that 11 is NOT early! I feel bad because I literally have no energy to do anything. I'm just impressed that I convince myself to go to the gym after work every day! I've run into a couple friends that are pregnant and they all said their first trimester was the exact same, so it made me feel a little less bad about myself! I'm looking forward to being motivated to do a little more in a couple weeks!

Prone to headaches pre-preggers, I've been getting one a couple nights s a week.

Very frequent bathroom breaks still an hourly (let's get real, 15-30 minute) occurrence.

Feeling a little extra emotional - I have to fight back tears over the silliest little things. I cried watching the Biggest Loser.

A normal night includes me using every bit of self control to not eat late at night (I can't help those late-night munchies!) but this week, food just does not sound good as the evening rolls around. I have no appetite at night.

Sporadically I'll feel a little nauseous but it passes after a little bit and I'm back on my way.

Week 9:

I dreaded this day but knew it would eventually come. My headache turned into a migraine one day this week. If you have never experienced a migraine (and no, not just a really bad headache) consider yourself extremely lucky. I got home around 6 and went straight to bed. The only thing that 'cures' a migraine for me is sleep, which can be somewhat hard to do when you're in so much pain. Thankfully, it was only a one-day affair and I was back to normal in the morning. I'm so excited for my daily headaches to go away though.

As long as I eat a little something every 2-3 hours, I'm able to stay nauseous- and headache-free. Sunday I felt the sickest I've been so far, but after getting some food in me, it eventually went away.

I'm getting a little more energy back and could not be happier!

I'll start craving something or think something sounds soooo good, but then when it comes time to actually go eat something, none of it sounds good anymore. No fun!

No weight gain but I can definitely feel my stomach starting to round out.

Maybe too much info for some, but... my chest has gotten huge.

Bring on Week 10!

** If you have any pregnancy tips or advice I'd LOVE to hear them!**

Saturday, March 9, 2013

I hope they call me on a mission

 I can't believe the day finally came! My (dashing, studly, wonderful, special, incredible, selfless, and everything great and good in the world) brother Chad received his mission call for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints this past week.

He is called to labor in the Mexico Cuernavaca Mission and is to report to the Provo Missionary Training Center July 10.

I could not be more proud of him or more grateful for his example, his desire, his selfless service, his dedication, his conviction, his willingness, and just for the man he has grown up to be.

It is incredible to watch him and see the bright light just radiate from him. He truly is a light in the world, a light on the hill that cannot be hid. Because of his desire to share that light, hundreds are blessed and will continue to be.

 His heart is so big and he is so ready and eager to serve the people in Mexico. A little while after he opened his call, when it was just him and I, I said I was grateful he wasn't going anywhere really 'scary' (yes, a little naive on my part but come on, anyone that has a brother on a mission feels the same way!) and he said it wouldn't matter where he was, he wants to be somewhere where he has to sacrifice and is humbled.

My little brother is all grown up. He is an example to all of us, including one of his closest friends, our youngest brother Steele, who is turning 14 next month. I am grateful for how much he looks up to Chad, he is his role model - and I couldn't think of a better one to have!
 I still can't believe he will be gone for two years but couldn't ask for a better place for him to be. Plus, he'll get to miss the crying baby stage and come home just in time for my baby to be in the 'fun' stage :) [more on little baby weekes later!]
Last month, another man in the house embarked on his mission to bring truth to the world. Mike's brother David entered the Provo MTC February 13. He spent one week there, where it sounds like he is already rocking and rolling in the Spanish language, before he got his visa and left for the Peru MTC. Before long, he will be out in the field in the Bolivia Cochabamba Mission, where I know the people are going to embrace him with all they have. He is our big teddy bear and going to do so many great things. Plus, him and Chad are great friends and I know they are going to have too much fun talking to each other in Spanish when they both get home :)
The world is a much better place because of my brothers.